Riding Through it All ...

I am at Brown 1, and the funny thing about it is that 6 out of 10 times that I chill out here, i bump into people I know, some of whom are friends and some others are acquaintances. Likewise, this time I am occupying the seat, my favourite seat, which is very close to the entrance glass door, and from where I am slumping so comfortably, I can at the same time enjoy the various displays of scenes just right outside through the glass pane. And i happen to be sitting just one seat away from this couple whom i get to recognize on IFL campus, but whom I never get a chance or means to interact with. I know the guy's name, though! His name is Sousachak! And i guess--taking into account the intimate way of how he interacts with the girl sharing the seat with him--the girl is his girlfriend! I am positive that he knows me as well, seeing me on and off quite often on campus too, but there are no signs indicating the embarrassment at all! Embarrassment because of the fact that he is so glued

I attended Mov's sis's wedding last night, and it felt good to be able to catch up with bong Hok, Sreyleak, Leang, and bong Meng again. It felt just like one of those olden days when i was a lot younger and a lot more innocent and when i looked up to them as my fraternal brothers. Anyways I happened to share this table with this newly-wedded couple. There was nothing particularly special about them despite the fact that they are young, as young as i am, and they are married! I secretly observed how both of them interacted, and i could feel the chill running up my arms. I could feel the sweetness coming out from those little words they said to each other, from those mere gaze in each other's eyes. All the while, i thought to myself, "Well, getting married at that young age isn't bad at all!" And then it made me brood over this concept that the older you get, the more about the romantic elements are lost!

"Stuck in the past" ... "nothing new"... "stuck in the past"..."nothing new"... "stuck in the past"... It gets so lame now! I feel i have been struggling all along all alone to cherish nothing but "forgettable" memories... Oh dear God! The word like "feel" and "memories" sound lame too! Maybe the time has finally come, the time to let go! It is damn tiring to hold so tightly onto something all alone when others have already loosened their grip... damn tiring indeed! I think I have centered my life around it for so long that it is almost a mere impossibility to picture my life without it, but then it gets to the point where everything about it is so upsetting that letting go is a smarter choice... It is probably a lot easier to lead a more self-centered, selfish life... People are selfish! Friends are selfish! I am at this point in life where i learn that while friends can count on me, I can't count on t