Riding Through it All ...

hort nas... kmean ey hort jeang kah bak terk chet teh...

Man!!!!!!!!! The feeling I am going through now is so intense and unbearable!!! Pi bak troam nas!!! What is wrong with me??? Ok, I submitted the results late!!! So what?? My students understood!!! But why did this tiny little thing grow into sth so gigantic now?? It is making me feel like a total loser!!! Shit!!!!!!!!!! Man!!!!!!!!!!! I have to heave a long breath in and out quite often to make whatever inside my bloody chest feel better!!!!!!!!!!! And then this stupid mistake makes me feel so lost and confused, not knowing what the heck i am doing exactly!!!!!!!!!!! Damn!!!!!!!! Am I overreacting? But trust me! I am trying to be normal, but I just become so overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!! This feeling is totally suicidal!!!!!!!!!!!!

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The lower half of my body is now desperately in need of some loosing up of muscles! Was out since 9 in the morning and was only back home fifteen minutes ago. I did not get myself into anything that required much physical work, though. It was all about rehearsing my vocal today! Man! Cant believe that I started singing from 10 in the morning up till 7 30 in the evening. Thanks and credits to ah Thy for his hard work as well!!!

It is Friday the 13th! Besides the fact that my car was submerged in the flood on the way back to Ty's house, there was no other misfortune for today. But then suddenly lying on my back on this soft bed of mine, I am in the mood for something alcoholic, something like a cocktail. I have no idea why this sudden upsurge of desire either! I am not sad about anything. Nor am I happy. Well, I have to admit that it is freaking insane how your brain makes you want something, even if it is in the middle of the night like this!

Dear Vendy, Watching you screw your life saddens me. It is high time you got to your feet and started doing things without procrastinating, things that are of great priority and importance. Listen, you have a whole life ahead of you! If you keep on lazing around, you will look back one day and sulk in remorse. You know what your goals are! You know the means! Go ahead! Of course, there are some fears lurking somewhere inside you, but you just need to face them since the only way to conquer your fears is to face them! Stay focused! And let the rational part of you comes into play the way it did years back! On the other hand, let your emotional part take the backseat since it has been at wheel for too long, and because of it, your life has been miserable enough! Besides, you need to say "No" with emphasis. It might not be the type of thing you would do, but you just need to do it with skills and styles if you want the best you can possibly expect to get from your life. I will k...

Marriage! Yeah, marriage! This word now is mentioned more ridiculously often within my earshot, and it is obviously reflective of the fact that I am getting older in age with each ticking second and that marriage is somewhat around the corner. This being said does not necessarily imply that I am in desperate need of the tying of knots! However, I do not deprive myself of the opportunity to genuinely consider what makes up my ideal marriage either. Getting married is no child's play, and it means a whole lot more than its ceremonial nature. Getting married is about understanding, compromise, commitment, responsibility and love. Couples who think they can persevere against all odds simply because of pure love are wrong! At least, I think they are! And while people often grimace at the thought of being married to someone arranged by their parents, it is not always true that love marriage does bring so much joy either! Speaking of arranged marriage, I am reminded of my brother's up...

The trip to KPS was exhausting but it was worth all the long drive all the way from PP! It was certainly a breather for me, giving me the chance to gasp for fresh pristine air away from the hustle and bustle of the polluted PP city life. And from this trip I learnt a touching life story and suddenly it brought back memories again! Sometimes all it takes is just a little nostalgic goodie like this story i am going to share to really knock some senses into you, to really remind you that there are so many things in your life that you should be thankful for, and to really make you realize that whining is what a baby does and that it will not bear you any fruit. Anyway, let's just skip things a bit and then move to the core part. It all stemmed from this visit of an old relative who also happened to be my dad's old co-worker. However, it had been quite a while since they last kept in touch, no thanks to the arguments they had had at the workplace. Since then less was spoken of him, ...

It is already 11 at night, and given how exhausted I am with the marking, I should have already fallen into the delicious slumber, but I just feel that there are so many things at night, especially at this late hour of the night, to enjoy. To me, it is during this hour of tranquility that everything is at its best blossoming period. Gazing out of the window, I can barely see anything. But there is something about this darkness and quietness that really gives me the comfort, the kind of comfort that soothes the day-long exhaustion. And I am wondering whether the dimly-lit rooms I see across my room are occupied by people who love nighttime as much as I do, or whether the lights in those rooms are still on simply because they stay up late to finish off their tasks, much to their frustration. The best thing about it is the sense of peace that I get to experience. For some good hours, at least, I do not have to bear with the boisterous hustle and bustle of life. Nor do I have to give a dam...

It was 12 30. It was at that precise moment that I received the phone call. It was a short clear conversation. It did impact me, yeah. But it was all for the best. And I think I am okay!