Riding Through it All ...

Following one long week of sleep deprivation, here i am, SICK! As if the week-long fatigue and the frustrating runny nose were not ruining my life enough, I still do suffer from what i call this disease of "blanking out"! And without a proper make-up break solely dedicated for sleep, I am sure it is just a matter of weeks before I forget everyone's names @.@

I am at Brown 1, and the funny thing about it is that 6 out of 10 times that I chill out here, i bump into people I know, some of whom are friends and some others are acquaintances. Likewise, this time I am occupying the seat, my favourite seat, which is very close to the entrance glass door, and from where I am slumping so comfortably, I can at the same time enjoy the various displays of scenes just right outside through the glass pane. And i happen to be sitting just one seat away from this couple whom i get to recognize on IFL campus, but whom I never get a chance or means to interact with. I know the guy's name, though! His name is Sousachak! And i guess--taking into account the intimate way of how he interacts with the girl sharing the seat with him--the girl is his girlfriend! I am positive that he knows me as well, seeing me on and off quite often on campus too, but there are no signs indicating the embarrassment at all! Embarrassment because of the fact that he is so glued ...

I attended Mov's sis's wedding last night, and it felt good to be able to catch up with bong Hok, Sreyleak, Leang, and bong Meng again. It felt just like one of those olden days when i was a lot younger and a lot more innocent and when i looked up to them as my fraternal brothers. Anyways I happened to share this table with this newly-wedded couple. There was nothing particularly special about them despite the fact that they are young, as young as i am, and they are married! I secretly observed how both of them interacted, and i could feel the chill running up my arms. I could feel the sweetness coming out from those little words they said to each other, from those mere gaze in each other's eyes. All the while, i thought to myself, "Well, getting married at that young age isn't bad at all!" And then it made me brood over this concept that the older you get, the more about the romantic elements are lost!

"Stuck in the past" ... "nothing new"... "stuck in the past"..."nothing new"... "stuck in the past"... It gets so lame now! I feel i have been struggling all along all alone to cherish nothing but "forgettable" memories... Oh dear God! The word like "feel" and "memories" sound lame too! Maybe the time has finally come, the time to let go! It is damn tiring to hold so tightly onto something all alone when others have already loosened their grip... damn tiring indeed! I think I have centered my life around it for so long that it is almost a mere impossibility to picture my life without it, but then it gets to the point where everything about it is so upsetting that letting go is a smarter choice... It is probably a lot easier to lead a more self-centered, selfish life... People are selfish! Friends are selfish! I am at this point in life where i learn that while friends can count on me, I can't count on t...

Life has been hectic for the first twenty days of 2011, and I can barely have a breather to gasp for fresh air, but as a matter of fact, though I am having a bit of difficulty managing time efficiently, I have to admit that I love the way these things keep me busy and focused. Besides, I am feeling a whole lot more productive each time I put a tick to the task completed! I find myself smiling a lot lately, not because there is anything particularly uplifting happening in my life, but more because I believe in the philosophy that when you smile, everyone smiles with you, and not at you. With the dawn of the new year, it instills in me the faith in the power of positive thinking. I start to realize that maybe--just maybe--there is nothing particularly good or bad about a thing; it is bad or good simply due to how you filter it through your analytical brain. Talking about being analytical, there are times when being less analytical helps more! I am the kind of person who breaks a block of...

Care... This word has been used so often in our everyday lives that few pause to ponder over its actual meaning. While a variation of definitions surfaces, I do believe that a big bunch who does truly filter this word through the analytical process of the brain will nod their heads in agreement with my definition! To me, to care for your best friend or someone who matters a lot to you means more than just to visit the person in the hospital when he is seriously sick or when half of his leg is cut off. Nor does it simply refer to a few hours of talk when the person is heartbroken. Care also does embrace the little not-very-significant events that befall the person, and therefore, land the person in the state of sorrow--if not depression. A simple text to ask whether the person is doing okay, however insignificant it may seem, in fact, does lift up the spirit of the person in a surprising way. So does the straight look in the eyes followed by sincere words of concern, "Are you okay?...