23/03/09

The clock in this room has just struck 6. These days at this hour the sky still remains a long stretch of silver with some dark patches of clouds. As i am typing this entry, I could feel the light touch of the wind that is wafting in and out of this room. The soft music gives another helping hand to set just the right mood for blog writing. Despite the fact that the seat i am perching on is anything but a comfortable cushion, I am satisfied with the facilities and services and the atmosphere this place has got to offer. It would be a whole lot more dramatic, though, if i could hear the falling raindrops slashing against the window pane right now! Too bad that the dark clouds these days dispel into smaller colorless particles after just some hours.

I love rain. I love how it can magically make one who is on the verge of breaking down feel rejuvenated all of a sudden. I want all the uncertainties and the anxieties and those tiny little bad things that are weighing me down to be washed away by rain. As a kid, I loved walking and running in the rain, and the best part was to be sitting on the wet earth with an umbrella in one hand. The umbrella served as a shelter for me. As ironic as it might sound, I felt so warmed at heart sitting there shielded by the umbrella though my entire body was trembling as the coldness of the rain set in. That was how I knew what it was like to feel warm despite the harsh exterior coldness.

And now I miss that experience badly! I want to feel that kind of warmth again. Life to me now is one long hallway with doors on both sides. And behind those closed doors lie things which elude the possibility of my prediction. All I know is there are really nasty stuff, but there are good ones too. Leading a life like this is kinda tiring. After slaving away some good moments of my life at the workplace, I expect to have some really nice short breathers. But the funny thing is I get stressed out by the bare fact that I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. So either way I am always stressed out! To make matters worse, I could barely feel the warmth in the presence of my close friends. I feel that there are things that are lurking deep down in the bottom somewhere behind that straight face. Things that they prefer to keep locked up! And the gang is shrinking in size. I cannot imagine my Saturdays without them!