The mean side?

I am not mean! I am not genetically programmed to be mean! There are times when I raise my voice, wave you off, or even shout back at you using harsh words. But rest assured that that man, the man who does all that, is not Vendy! He is the shield and the guard I put on to protect  myself from the vulnerability. If there is anything I have learned as a person, it must be the fact that being nice, in a bigger broader sense, only lands you in a place where you are treated badly. There was a time not long ago when I believed being nice was the key to successful communication between people, but guess what? I WAS DARN WRONG! What happened was I got taken for granted, and people made you feel like being nice was a disease! It made me feel being nice was more like a genetic mutation that scared and chased them off! If you ask me now whether the ugly, more monstrous side of me that has come out eats up the nicer one, the answer is NO! No, it hasn't, and I think it never will! The niceness is just being masked and is lurking somewhere down there. But I just feel safer not to let this nicer part of me--this vulnerability--come out again. I just cannot be entirely honest about my feelings. Neither can I do nice things I want to. Like what I have mentioned earlier, these things will scare people off one way or another, and therefore, they are better off  being kept safe somewhere known just to me, myself.

Comments

SouzanaPS said…
gee, this is sooooo not me... I got so curious after reading this that i really wanna ask what made u write this :|
October 12, 2012 at 10:37 AM
gäãra-dě-sañd said…
being nice? well.... who said people don't like nice guy? they do! rest assure that they do. But r u sure that u're the nice guy? Nope! U may cross the line from being a nice guy to a guy to try to control other people. It's like u care about people and u try to make them avoid the mistakes. Does that sound familiar? If that's the case, then everyone will back off. Just be nice but let them do what they wanna do. Try to understand people and be nice to them rather than making them do what u think is nice :)
October 13, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Unknown said…
I'm glad u figured this out. Once you're very nice to people they are kinda have that mindset of you of being one of the nice guys..and no matter how they treat u, they will just expect u to be still nice... =.=
October 14, 2012 at 5:47 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A stranger within YOU

Has it ever occurred to you that there is actually a stranger lurking somewhere inside you? Maybe it sounds really mental and freaking weird here. But I really can’t help brooding over this. And the more I think of it, the more it becomes crystal clear it is indeed true that a stranger is actually living my life, a stranger who has eaten up half of my real “self”, shrouding me with a totally new cover to form a person I hardly recognize. There are times when I feel really happy, but why in God’s name do I look far from happy? It is at this point that people view me in a rather negative light. Even so, the last thing I ever wish to do is, of course, to blame them. I am more than sure that they will never be able to understand me. And then there are other times when I wish more than anything to become very close to certain people. However, my attitudes towards them betray me. Nothing but coldness always hangs in the air in their presence, much to my perplexity. I remember being approa...
Read more

HAPPY St. Valentine's Day!

Image
Take a careful look around you! There might be someone in the crowd there that wishes more than anything to be noticed by you, someone that you probably knows very well but has always been taken for granted, someone that has always been standing there in your doorway, someone that has always been ready to wipe your tears, and someone that has probably shed so many tears for you without your knowledge. Such a someone deserves attention too! Happy St. Valentine's Day! Make the best out of today!
Read more

mentality!!!

Well, I am more or less like an adult now in the sense that i earn my own money and stuff. Though i quite enjoy working at ITC quite a lot, there is something inside me that keeps popping up every now and then, and makes all the excitement and all the energy go away. "Why in God's name i never grow up?" You may ask! Well yeah i definitely know that separation is part of learning and growth, but i just seem incapable of grappling with it very well. It tears me apart when i sense my friends and i are drifting apart with each passing day. Again you may go like, "So lame!" I know it sounds so, but I just cannot help brooding a lot about this! I remember being literally lectured by my dad a few weeks ago about what adulthood is all about, and it struck me with a jaw-cracking blow that there are so many expectations of me. By "expectations", it has nothing to do with monetary issues. As a matter of fact, there is more to do with heavier responsibilities as a...
Read more