mentality!!!
Well, I am more or less like an adult now in the sense that i earn my own money and stuff. Though i quite enjoy working at ITC quite a lot, there is something inside me that keeps popping up every now and then, and makes all the excitement and all the energy go away. "Why in God's name i never grow up?" You may ask! Well yeah i definitely know that separation is part of learning and growth, but i just seem incapable of grappling with it very well. It tears me apart when i sense my friends and i are drifting apart with each passing day. Again you may go like, "So lame!" I know it sounds so, but I just cannot help brooding a lot about this! I remember being literally lectured by my dad a few weeks ago about what adulthood is all about, and it struck me with a jaw-cracking blow that there are so many expectations of me. By "expectations", it has nothing to do with monetary issues. As a matter of fact, there is more to do with heavier responsibilities as a grown person. Then it got me thinking whether I could possibly set out to accomplish those so many goals. I am in the middle of nowhere still, and for the first time in 20 years of life, i hate myself for having such a "big" goal ahead of me to be accomplished. It is anything but uplifting knowing it all too well that as i continue my journey i will gain and lose at the same time. "Gain" because probably i will be able to advance to a higher and nearer position to grab hold of the trophy. But "Lose" because i have to come to terms with the bare truth that friends are not physically there for you. Sometimes I wonder why i make such a big fuss over this friendship thing, and wonder whether other friends of mine feel the same way as i do, or is it just me going going suddenly mental? All these thoughts are just too much to be squeezed into my tiny brain!!!!!
Comments
I think it's good to find our most convinient way to let all the frustration goes, and what you're doing now, writing it down may help. It could be a funny piece of writing for u to read when you get older :P
Don't beat yourself up just because you need friends to be there for you.
Everyone does!
You treasure friendship and i'm sure all your friends know it. I know it! :D
No one forgets you. They will always give you a helping hand when you need it. You know i do. ^_^
hahaha.... unlike u, i'd wanted to grow up quickly. As soon as i grow up, i become mature. As soon as i become mature, i got access to night clubs, dates, and many more...Don't you like these? I bet you do, ven.
to hour: i'm not that bad, dude. My biz is kinda of social that i help ppl who are stressed out in their work. sigh....but society views me in negative sides.
By the way, it's true that in order to get one thing, u have to forego another. In economic concept, there'are always opportunity costs to everything u do. Losing and gaining are always your companions no matter which choice u opt for. And when the losing is so much, u can't do anything besides adjusting your life and living with the truth that it's gone.
PM, u're always very smart, but this time u turn to be not that smart lolz... :P hehehe, hei, now seeing ur comment is very precious hor cuz u hardly send out comment now.
I know that we don't need to be an economist just to know about the gaining and losing. I was just trying to put the words by using economic terms. Whatever! Let me admit that my words are so vague this time that they made u misunderstand, but damn u! Can't u just save my face for once? At least on the Internet? I remember our constant arguments when I paid a visit in Cam.
To Ice:
What the...? Ok! Ok! Thanks for your comment on my comment, and read my comment on Ven's replying comment. Lolz...
Oh one more thing to say! I'm not smart, but according to Ven and his friends, I'm unique. Lolz...
To PM: Hahahahha...unique?Come on, give it a rest!!!
That's what I told everyone, too, that everyone is unique, but they say i'm extraordinarily unique. Well, let's come off it!
Guess your kidding has some degree of truth in it. Honestly, I also think I'm the odd one out. So odd that sometimes even I myself am astonished and scared by my oddness.