Dead End


I am feeling so lost and small now. From where i am standing i can make out what is lying far ahead of me. A dead end. And all of a sudden, i feel so weak and drained. Should i continue walking? Or should i stop here and look for another exit which, by no stretch of the imagination, is in sight? There is no turning back now! I am stuck at where i am standing, and there is no way i can wriggle out of it. I watch chances slipping through my fingers with a sinking heart, feeling so helpless. Or maybe things are not as bad as they appear to be? Maybe everything before me is just an illusion? Maybe it isn't a dead end? Maybe it is an exit to the real world out there instead? And everytime i smile now i betray my inner self. There are too many things flashing through my mind, too many to even make sense out of any. Day by day, i shrink! One day i might just disappear into nothingness.

Comments

Rithy said…
every proble in this entire world has its way out.Its just a matter of whether to choose project A or B.you know what Ven? you must get over whatever you are feeling right now.To me, perhaps you are too sensitive about the things you see and hear,and this can really break you down half way.And you know it, this is very destructive. All m saying, just keep it up, dude. Chase it, chase it and chase it til you get it, and we'll be proud of you!
March 18, 2008 at 5:26 AM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To Thy: thanks, dude! your comment is really encouraging!! You are right about my being sensitive at times. i admit i am. Sigh...my emotions just run high somtimes. Hard to control...
March 18, 2008 at 5:44 AM
Anonymous said…
"Everytime I smile, I betray my innerself" sounds familiar to me!
March 18, 2008 at 6:50 AM
Anonymous said…
Sigh...Ven, the last time I talked to you, I could sense that you were not feeling alright. I was about to ask you what was wrong, too, but then you said you gotta go, so...

Well, the downs of life are trying to swallow you up now, and this is making you veiw things pessimistically. Don't resort to another exit coz i'm sure it is not the place you want to go. Continue walking. Chances are not slipping through your fingers. If you put a deeper thought into it, they are actually rushing toward your fingers. They just stopped for a moment during pitfalls, and after you've wiped out those pitfalls, they will flow as smoothly as water toward you. Things are not as bad as they appear to be, and it's not the dead end, believe me. Come on! Obstacles appear not to make you hunker down; they appear to make you stronger. Chase your dream and follow your heart. I know you can do it.
March 18, 2008 at 11:03 AM
Barbie said…
P.M.>>I wish I could do that too, P.M. :( Well, just give myself a smile then, cuz at least a fake smile can somehow makes me feel better, can't it?

Ven>> know wat Ven??? My very first impression from ur blog is ur profile, intelligent, but kinda emotional sometimes, and if you go and read my profile, you'll get wat I mean :) Rosy should have added me in as a too sensitive insect :P
March 18, 2008 at 11:14 AM
Anonymous said…
don't think about those things too much. chances slipped through our hands but what we can do now is not to regret but to not let that happened again. of course, each and everyday we must have sth to achieve, sth to look towards to and when there is nothing there, we feel like our lives are pretty much no meaning. we don't cheer up and stay at that emotional moment, we will feel worse and it gets worse every second we live.
March 18, 2008 at 7:07 PM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To vattey: ok, i admit that i actually quoted that statment from you. Should have put in quotation marks:-)
March 19, 2008 at 3:39 AM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To PM: Thanks, PM! Thanks for believing in me even if sometimes i doubt i can go on. Chasing my dream? I have been chasing my dream, and guess i have been far from the starting the starting point now, but then i am standing at a crossroad, not knowing what path to take...
March 19, 2008 at 3:42 AM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To BarBEE: So my profile was kinda impressive? :-) Right, i am kinda emotional sometimes, but not as emotional as you are, i think!
March 19, 2008 at 3:44 AM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To Bro REX: I know that i should not let all these emotions stand in my way, but like what you have said, i am having nothing to look forward to now. So it kinda makes me feel worthless.
March 19, 2008 at 3:46 AM
Anonymous said…
Totally understand the feeling of having nothing to look forward to!

I have been there! and I am still there every now and then!
March 19, 2008 at 4:23 AM
MarshMarllow6338 said…
To Vattey: i am saddened to hear that! But be strong, my friend, one day there can be a miracle. So you should really look forward to that day:-)
March 19, 2008 at 4:36 AM
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