This is my last day as a full-timer at IFL, and strangely I am not feeling sad nor happy. A few days ago, I was all overwhelmed by the impending goodbye, but now that it has finally arrived, I am at the complete loss for words to describe my emotions.
Have I enjoyed teaching at IFL? Yes, definitely! Two of my favourite subjects are Literature Studies and Writing Skills. Through both, I managed to flaunt my creativity as a teacher, and also my skills and knowledge. Though over the years I was required to teach pretty much the same subject matters--though with a vast variation of techniques, I still indulged in getting to know my students individually on a more personal level. Of course, I was nowhere near perfection, but I believed I managed to inspire some students in positive ways, and to realize that you could be partly responsible for someone's motivation and growth is definitely a blessing!
However, I have a dream. Yes, a dream! This dream is so big that IFL will not be able to help me realise. After a while, despite being a happy teacher who enjoys teaching his classes, deep down I feel this is not enough, and therefore, I admit I have to look for an opportunity that can potentially land me where I would love to be. Then with a stroke of luck, this new job comes along. Well, to be very honest with you, it is not all luck! Though as far as I am concerned the new job is more promising, I do have doubts and concerns and insecurities about it. But then I know I can no longer stay put at IFL! I do not feel a sense of belonging anymore. As a matter of fact, there have been a lot of reforms, most of which are so drastic they shock me! Also, lately I have felt discredited on many occasions and little has been said about my contribution to the school. Again, I have never been perfect! But one thing for sure, care deeply for my students' learning, and when this is supposed to be something I get credited for, I don't!
In fact, it has been a bittersweet experience for me. It has enriched me as a person, and though the job I am going to be involved in demands virtually a different set of skills, there is no denying that teaching is my stepping stone! I know what I am doing is a risky investment, but it is worth a shot. Teaching can be fun and easy, but if you lose track of time, before you know it, 15 years will fly past, and as a result, you will be left with nothing but a few choices.