Riding Through it All ...

Just realize that it hurts when you cut your own flesh! But then sometimes it's too much to bear with.

Well I have not seen my elder bro for two days already. There is no doubt that he has been so busy with work these days, which is obviously a good thing in the financial aspect. But then he loses his temper so easily now. Just a simple phone call from me to ask where he is could make him hit the roof. Of course, I do not take any of this to heart, for I understand someone with all this amount of work to handle everyday is already having a hard time physically and psychologically, and the last thing I wish to do is to add more stress to the existing amount. But then when my exhaustion sets in, I could be real nasty with him too. I learn to curb my anger and frustration more now in his presence, though. It only resurfaces when his attitude is a little extreme, when he needs someone harsh enough like me to tell him in the face to stop. And yeah, it works! b8ee8328-cbea-4508-9b4d-54ad6f12c6eb 1.03.01

Throughout a life journey, there are lots of moments. Moments you laugh out loud till you get the stitches in your stomach. Moments you cry your heart out because you lose someone dearest to you. Moments you stand motionless mesmerized by the beauty of the surroundings and that of your lover. Moments of silence that seems so loud because everyone in the room is so overwhelmed by one particular piece of devastating news. And September 15 is one of those moments! It is the moment that scars and scares you. It is the moment that makes you feel the twist and turn in the stomach. It is the moment that makes those little scalding teardrops roll down your face. It is the moment that comes haunting you with memories, good and bad. It is one of those moments of a lifetime! ................. Yet it is the onset of the new beginning! b8ee8328-cbea-4508-9b4d-54ad6f12c6eb 1.03.01

It is raining outside. And every time it rains, it makes me think of stuff. I have no idea why my brain is somehow switched to that "thinking" mode either. Well, can a person like and dislike one thing at the same time? It seems to me that I both like and dislike driving in the rain. For one thing, it is damn sad keeping my hands on the steering wheel being absorbed in the soft music. For another thing, I sort of take pleasure in sheer driving in the flood watching people wading in the flood, people wrapped in plastic raincoats of blue, green, and pink, people simply hovering on the front yard of places looking at the sky wondering when the rain will stop. And then I simply wanna drive nonstop though it is damn frustrating having to navigate my way through the flood and the car crowd. b8ee8328-cbea-4508-9b4d-54ad6f12c6eb 1.03.01

I am sitting at one corner of Gloria Jean's Coffee Shop, and from where I am settling down, I have observed my student Dara for the past 10 mins, seeing him reaching here and there in his black uniform bearing the shop's name, and smiling to all the customers who undoubtedly come from vastly different walks of life. He mostly converses in English since few of the customers here are Khmer in native. I could tell he loves his job! And quite surprisingly I think I love his job too! Suddenly I imagine myself in the States, dressed up in something very similar to what he is wearing, running here and there pleasing the customers, with a big wide grin on my face. I know a less ambitious side of me just wants to try something like this, wants to experience the sheer joy that a simple job like this could bring to my life. One day when I get to study overseas in countries like the States or Australia, I will definitely be the first in line to sign up for such a job:)