Riding Through it All ...

Charles Darwin's theory on the survival of the fittest has won himself a global acclaim, and even within household confinement, his name and his theory are often referred to. Am I the most adaptable to changes? NO! Can I adapt to changes eventually? YES! Well, it is true that moving to a new workplace freaks me out a lot despite how much self-assurance i've practiced on myself over the past weeks. But while it still weighs on my mind quite heavily, it is not the main topic of this entry for the time being! I am, in fact, going to talk about home! Yes, my very own lovely, cosy, little home. Quite recently my home has become very quiet, so quiet that it makes me wonder what is on everyone's mind. Dad seems to be lost in his own thoughts, and as far as I can tell, he tries to distract himself by lurking behind those plants and little trees he has planted with his bare hands. Mum is quiet too! Most of the time, she will just stare at one of those Hong Kong movies on

6 30PM, IFL. This is my last day as a full-timer at IFL, and strangely I am not feeling sad nor happy. A few days ago, I was all overwhelmed by the impending goodbye, but now that it has finally arrived, I am at the complete loss for words to describe my emotions. Have I enjoyed teaching at IFL? Yes, definitely! Two of my favourite subjects are Literature Studies and Writing Skills. Through both, I managed to flaunt my creativity as a teacher, and also my skills and knowledge. Though over the years I was required to teach pretty much the same subject matters--though with a vast variation of techniques, I still indulged in getting to know my students individually on a more personal level. Of course, I was nowhere near perfection, but I believed I managed to inspire some students in positive ways, and to realize that you could be partly responsible for someone's motivation and growth is definitely a blessing!  However, I have a dream. Yes, a dream! This dream is so big that

"Be yourself." "Be happy with who you are." "Never try to be someone you are not." "People who matter don't judge; people who judge don't matter." And the list goes on. Well, personally, I think we have subconsciously absorbed the whole be-who-you-are ideology through American movies. 8 out of 10 American movies place a significant emphasis on this ideology, and yes, I think the Americans themselves have done a pretty remarkable job living up to the expectation of "being themselves". They fail a Math test, but it is perfectly okay because they can draw! They leave home at the age of 18 and hate their mom, but it is perfectly okay because they are being themselves and they do not have to worry about what their mom think! They are self-centred, selfish, and egotistic, but it is okay because they are just being themselves! We, Asians, or more specifically Cambodians, have been exposed to this contagious ideology for so long

Well, it is like reaching the end of one gold field with mines. Naturally, you would feel relieved and thankful that you make it without losing a few arms and legs or even your life even though it means continuing on with your journey, goldless, but little do you realise lying ahead of you is another gold field--and yes with mines again. Would you take the risk and set off on your excursion in search of gold though you might end up getting your head blown off? Yes, I am stuck there now!