Changes

Charles Darwin's theory on the survival of the fittest has won himself a global acclaim, and even within household confinement, his name and his theory are often referred to.

Am I the most adaptable to changes? NO! Can I adapt to changes eventually? YES!

Well, it is true that moving to a new workplace freaks me out a lot despite how much self-assurance i've practiced on myself over the past weeks. But while it still weighs on my mind quite heavily, it is not the main topic of this entry for the time being!

I am, in fact, going to talk about home! Yes, my very own lovely, cosy, little home. Quite recently my home has become very quiet, so quiet that it makes me wonder what is on everyone's mind. Dad seems to be lost in his own thoughts, and as far as I can tell, he tries to distract himself by lurking behind those plants and little trees he has planted with his bare hands. Mum is quiet too! Most of the time, she will just stare at one of those Hong Kong movies on TV, rapt in some distant thoughts. Well, I try to get them to talk by asking about either what my Dad is up to with the plants or what has happened to the main characters that Mum has been keeping an eye on, but that does not keep the conversations going on very long.

Then there was this one particular night when I was sitting on the swing outside the house observing my parents and trying to figure out the reasons behind the deafening silence, my brother joined me on the swing, and then he told me about the fact that the house would be so quiet after he would be married and he even shared with me his intention of staying over at our house even after his marriage. It was until at that point that I understood the mystery behind all the awkward silence! Apparently, Dad and Mum have been preoccupied with the thought of my brother's leaving. Yes, though it is a typical thing that men are supposed to get married and move away to the bride's side, when you actually come to term with it, it is a little hard, especially when my brother is always the bundle of joy, the bubbly kind, who is talkative to the point where it annoys me sometimes.

The truth is I know my home is gonna be a lot more quiet without my brother around, and yes, it will take some time for us to get used to it. In fact, recently I have tried to get home quite early, and kept mum and dad companied, or at the very least, even if i already have dinner from outside, I still have to make sure to eat my second dinner with them one more time. Also, I try to ask them about whatever they are up to--whether it is the movie they are watching, or the plants they have just brought into the house. I know I can never fill in the big shoes that my brother leaves behind because I myself know that I am going to miss him badly too after he moves out, but I have been trying my best to be involved in tiny little things at home as much as possible.

This is the change that I have to adapt to in addition to the change of workplace and lifestyle that come along the way. If I were to sit down and think about these in details, I would just stress myself out. I know this is definitely a first-world problem, but for a home as closely-knit as ours, losing a member shakes things up a little bit, and before we can find a stable ground and move on with life, we definitely need some time!

Comments

it's just a matter of time... after some time, u'll get used to it and it's quiet... quiet is good... it's peaceful! U're gonna love it, if u were a person like me! :)
Quiet is good yeah. i like it, but not within the family context.

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