Gaara Sand
I am here today because i just finished reading Gaara's latest post, and as ALWAYS, the sadness and nostalgia are splashed all over. But if there is one thing I can take away from the entry, it has to be the fact that he has always been around here, on the other side of the fence of the writing world. The lengthy, more detailed, but less popular side. Without his dedication and commitment for blogging, I might have given up on blogging too. Yup! You heard me right--though I hate to give him credits for that! Anyways, every time before I blog, I always read his posts. Now imagine having nothing to read EVER from him--no matter how lame he can sometimes get! So yeah, I owe a great deal to him for being that source of blogging inspiration he has always been since Day 1. Because of this, I would like to WASTE this particular entry on him: The Gaara Sand!
Flashing back to 2004, I met this guy! He was a nerd from head to toe. Everything about him screamed "NERD". His glasses. His hairstyle. His shoes. His backpack. Even his way of carrying himself around. You see, I was, too, but cooler! We happened to be in the same class at IFL--not that I could have a choice, and as much as my memory could serve me right, we were not close. Not then. Not now. But we were both huge fans of Harry Potter, and that was probably why I gave him a chance and talked to him in the first place. But let me get one thing straight: between the two of us, I was the smarter one. I OUTPERFORMED him in the class. After one particular grammar practice test, he approached me, to my surprise, but instead of being all nice and friendly, he challenged me to see who would get a better score from the test. The winner would get treated to a bottle of Coke at the school canteen. Well, as you could have, by now, guessed, it was NONE other than me and myself who scored higher than he did! While I took great pleasure in witnessing his sour face as a result of his defeats, this academic rivalry between us did not last long, though, since he left for Malaysia after his freshman year.
Facebook was not a thing back then. Even if it had been, he would not have been the Facebook type either. The only little string of connection we had was this platform: blogging. Given my passion for writing, blogging served my purpose. Also, it was that period of time when a lot of my close friends were active bloggers. I remembered having so much fun reading and commenting and posting entries. But then Facebook came along … one by one, my friends started giving up on blogging EXCEPT Gaara Sand. I got to admit that I, too, became less active as life and Facebook got in the way. So did Skype and other social network sites. However, the problem with Facebook was the limited number of words it allowed and therefore, it was in no way sufficient for all the lengthy and intricate thoughts that winded up their way in my head. So blogging was my last resort I turned to when I felt the need to pour down my thoughts.
Because Gaara was such a dedicated blogger, I got to know him on a deep and personal level. I learnt about his hobbies, his friends, his days, his dreams, and his insecurities. I guess he did learn about me too. I think we have had this level of understanding about each other even some of my close friends and I don't! It is probably because we are very open about our feelings in written forms, and not so much when it comes to speaking. As bookworms and movie geeks, we had the kind of conversations that I did not get to have with my close friends, and because he managed to fill up that space in my life, I always felt great talking to him in that regard. And if there was one thing I would never forget about him, it had to be the fact that he always gave me that little push in the whole authorship direction. In fact, he was the only person, out of my friends, who believed i could actually write a book and get it published! So for that, I thank him!
We both were emotional humans! On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the least emotional and 10 being the most, I was 9 and he was 7. But then I went through a lot of things. So did he. Now, if you ask me to rate ourselves on the scale again, I would say I am 5 and he is 8. Yup! Or maybe he has always been 8, but it is just that quite recently he has been very vocal about his emotions. Do I feel happy about it? Nope! I know exactly how it feels like to be fighting for your way through that dark tunnel alone. I was lost. I was confused. I was broken. So if anything, I want happier posts from him, Genuine, happy posts. If I had any rights to say anything about his choices, I would say: he needs to get out of his comfort zone. This is where every dark thought is born and grows.
Good luck, Gaara Sand!
Facebook was not a thing back then. Even if it had been, he would not have been the Facebook type either. The only little string of connection we had was this platform: blogging. Given my passion for writing, blogging served my purpose. Also, it was that period of time when a lot of my close friends were active bloggers. I remembered having so much fun reading and commenting and posting entries. But then Facebook came along … one by one, my friends started giving up on blogging EXCEPT Gaara Sand. I got to admit that I, too, became less active as life and Facebook got in the way. So did Skype and other social network sites. However, the problem with Facebook was the limited number of words it allowed and therefore, it was in no way sufficient for all the lengthy and intricate thoughts that winded up their way in my head. So blogging was my last resort I turned to when I felt the need to pour down my thoughts.
Because Gaara was such a dedicated blogger, I got to know him on a deep and personal level. I learnt about his hobbies, his friends, his days, his dreams, and his insecurities. I guess he did learn about me too. I think we have had this level of understanding about each other even some of my close friends and I don't! It is probably because we are very open about our feelings in written forms, and not so much when it comes to speaking. As bookworms and movie geeks, we had the kind of conversations that I did not get to have with my close friends, and because he managed to fill up that space in my life, I always felt great talking to him in that regard. And if there was one thing I would never forget about him, it had to be the fact that he always gave me that little push in the whole authorship direction. In fact, he was the only person, out of my friends, who believed i could actually write a book and get it published! So for that, I thank him!
We both were emotional humans! On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the least emotional and 10 being the most, I was 9 and he was 7. But then I went through a lot of things. So did he. Now, if you ask me to rate ourselves on the scale again, I would say I am 5 and he is 8. Yup! Or maybe he has always been 8, but it is just that quite recently he has been very vocal about his emotions. Do I feel happy about it? Nope! I know exactly how it feels like to be fighting for your way through that dark tunnel alone. I was lost. I was confused. I was broken. So if anything, I want happier posts from him, Genuine, happy posts. If I had any rights to say anything about his choices, I would say: he needs to get out of his comfort zone. This is where every dark thought is born and grows.
Good luck, Gaara Sand!
Comments
Screw the IFL thing. I remember nothing about it. I don't remember losing to you at all. I don't even remember challenging you to such thing since the first place. Obviously, I knew that you were better than me with English. I must be out of my mind back then. But anyway, even if you lie, I also don't know about it.
Well, I blog because I have people reading it. People like you. I won't claim that it's all because of me because if no one reads it, probably I won't be able to keep blogging that much. Having said that, writing, on the hand, is different. Even if no one would read what I write, I'll still write anyway. I sincerely cannot understand how people can just avoid writing. I cannot understand how they cope up with what's in their head. Probably it's the difference between extrovert and introvert? I don't know if you can understand it. The thing is if you are happy or sad about something and you don't know who to talk to, what other options do you have but to write it down? I wouldn't feel better announcing my problems to hundreds of people in my Facebook friend list. But to pour my heart out into a single post knowing not many people will see, that's how I can feel better.
Anyway, it's been years and your dream to become an author seems to fade away bit by bit. Yeah, it's something coming from someone who keeps nagging me to get out of my comfort zone. Haha...
P.S. Keep writing!
@ven: correction, by writing, i refer to typing. I really hate writing. I don't like holding pen. I'm comfortable with my keyboard. :D
@Pheary: Glad you liked it! I wish you would blog more often too!
Me: I don't particularly know what I want to do. Even if I do, chance is I'm kinda scared of doing it. Scared of this and scared of that. Probably it's too big that I don't know if I can do it.
You: You know what you want to do... you know that you can do it.... you know that you are not scared of it... but you just choose not to do it...
That's the thing! Getting out of my comfort zone? I guess if anyone seriously needs to get himself out of comfort zone, I imagine you doing that first.
For your record, when people are successful, they write stuff to make themselves cool. Their amazing story. Blah blah blah... but when they are not successful and they write stuff, it's because they just love writing.