WHY I AM STILL SINGLE

I am turning 28 in three weeks, and I am still single. I am sure you can probably imagine the growing frustration at every dinner table during my catch-up reunion dinners. When a lot of your friends are either married or--at the very least, dating, and you are neither, they probe you like you are some sort of an interesting subject of a life science experiment. They start putting you on the spot and scrutinising you as if there was something quite dangerously wrong about you. At first, I attempt to open up and walk them through the reasons why I am not dating, not that I do not have a chance. But the funny thing is no matter how truthful you are willing to be with them, they still refuse to digest the reasons, and prefer to stick to their own skepticisms. After a while, I just give up on the explanations.

I am dedicating this post to those friends and acquaintances of mine who genuinely want to find out why I am still single. Should this discussion pop up at any dinner tables in the near future, I will just refer them to this blog post. It is important that you TRUST me, or else, do not even bother reading the rest of the entry.

WHY I AM STILL SINGLE:

1. Multiple dates, similar cycles. Let me get one thing straight! I have tons of dates! Because I have so much experience dating around, I realise there is a similar pattern to every dating process. While the process is fun and exciting at first, after a while, I get to the point where I go, "Ahhhhh! She isn't right for me!" Don't judge me just yet! I am not a player! I always start every date with a serious intention! There has got to be some sort of chemistry before I start, but as much as I love it to blossom into something beautiful, it does not end that way. With a lot of those girls, I still remain friends with them, though.

2. Heart breaks. If I have to name one thing that has changed me into the person I am today, it has to be that last relationship. I liked this girl. I chased after her for two years. I finally confessed, but I got rejected. I kept a good distance from her. After a while, we got to hang out again along with other friends. I confessed again because I was not ready to let go. I got rejected again. We lost touch for a while. One day, a friend of hers told me she liked me. I was confused. Mad confused. But again, I was not ready to let go. I asked her again. This time she said she was not sure. So somehow we got into this so-called "three-month-trial" relationship. Things were pretty at first. After a while, even before the deadline, I was sure she was not into me. So we broke up. I spent roughly three years with this girl. Now we are not in touch anymore. I do not see the reasons why we need to be. It is best for us. It is best for me. It was a living hell for me, at first. But because of this relationship, I learnt so much. 

3. Different person. A lot of people raise their eyebrows in scepticism when I give them relationship advice because I am single. What they do not know is I am probably one of the few people they know who has dated so much, reflected so much about dating, tried so much, and given up so much too. So if anything, I am definitely qualified enough. Thanks to all of the experiences, I have become a better person. I do not see the relationship the same way, with so much heart invested. I am more logical. 

4. Different focus. I am at this point in my life where I focus so much on building myself: my career and my business. I have never been so full of myself before. Because every decision I make, and every effort I put in involves leading up towards my goals, anything else such as a relationship is a distraction. I have witnessed how much commitment and effort some of my friends put into maintaining their relationship, and it exhausts me!

5. Miss Right not found. Even my definition of "Miss Right" has changed over the years. I can only date someone who understands me. Yup. It might sound like a cliche but it is very fundamental to my relationship if i am going to be engaged in one. She has to understand I am no longer that man who chases after her, who pleases her, and who cares so much about what she is up to. I need my space, and my time for working towards my goals. That is to say, if she seeks too much of my attention, I gotta say goodbye to her. She has to be mature in the sense that she gotta have goals of her own, and knows how to get there. That way, she is busy pursuing hers too, and that way she does not feel I am the only one doing something about my life. Also, I find that kind of girl very attractive. 

Okay, now you know why! I would be lying if I told you I had never had second thoughts about the whole relationship thing. But I am glad my senses win me over. Besides, I have never been so happy being single in my life like right now. I feel the drive to pursue what I want to do with my future, and the last thing I want to have is a bad relationship that sucks me back into that sink hole!